These are very good posts above and they have prompted some thoughts from my tired brain. It is a given that each patient and each caregiver comes to this situation with a unique personality and circumstance and mostly caught totally unaware. I admit to being a "hyperactive" caregiver during John's illness. However, we were 3 hours[driving time] away from his oncologistgist\surgeon and radiologist. When his surgeries, rad tx. etc. were finished, we were only connected by phone most of the time. And we did not have the option of an ER to rush to if he got dehydrated or got in trouble otherwise. I think there is a caregiver "6th sense" that kicks in when you know that your "patient" is not doing well, be it proper nutrition, hydration, not enough pain control, etc. There were many times that I knew if John did not listen to me, we were "fixing to" be in big trouble.[for all you non-Southerners-fixing to is a real term] So if I sound strident about some of the caregiving stuff, it comes as a result of circumstances. If you are in a city with good medical resources at your disposal 24\7 - that's great. If you are not, I suggest you get your "nurse from Hell" hat ready to wear. Amy in the Oz