Liz - It is really difficult to know when to be tough or soft and at the same time let him know that what you are trying to do to help him is because you love him and really care about his recovery. Both Amy and Gary (and many others) have helped me and my son when we were going though the very difficult times. At one point, I did get tough and even yelled and said that he absolutely had to start cooperating and taking charge of his recovery and that I could not be the only one fighting this cancer beast! And then I left and cried all the way home. I also printed out several posted comments from Amy and Gary and everyone else and left them by his bedside to show him that it wasn't just me trying to tell him what to do. And that seemed to be the turning point. THings got better after that. I tried to find other ways, though to give him control over his life, like giving him choices i.e. "You want noodles with your chicken broth" or "do you think we should leave at 10am or 10:30am for your appointment", etc. If he is still working, that has got to be tough. I see now that my son being out of work at the time was really a blessing . He told me recently after getting back to work four weeks ago that he just could not have handled it if he had had to go to a job every day while he was in treatment. I'm glad Robin is "happily drinking" some liquids. When my son lost his taste, he seemed to get some satisfaction from really smelling the food. He said it was almost like being able to taste it. Liz, I think you are doing a tremendous job - stay strong and you will both get through this.


Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)