Cookey, your husband sounds a little like me when I was going through radiation. I pride myself on being very stoic with pain and able to handle alot so the radiation trip wasn't any different for me........why would it be? I was still me during the entire thing and that is exactly what I told my husband and family and friends when they all took to bugging me to "stop working, sit at home and take it easy, do this, do that"........I needed to control my life at that point and I did. I eventually cut way back on my hours but it was MY decision when, I also took much less pain medication then they expected me to but it was MY decision. I had cancer, not a mental illness, I didn't suddenly revert to being a child because I was sick. Now, with that said, I'm not saying that some people can take it way to far and endanger their health, I'm sure that CAN and DOES happen. I just don't see that it's to that point yet with your husband. If he is given the time and the room and the feeling of control over his life, I bet he will make good choices for himself. NO ONE, not even a caregiver, knows better then the patient themselves what they need. Sometimes we just have to listen. My daughter was sick last week, flu. In my caregivers mind I felt she needed to eat something, anything, and I was relentless with her. She finally raised her voice at me, which she never does, and told me that it was HER body and she wasn't hungry! She was right, how would I know if she was hungry?
It must be such a fine line to walk as a caregiver with someone that gets as sick as we do with radiation. Trying to know when to stand back and when to intervene for their own good. Good luck with it!
Minnie