As has been said, the choice is totally yours. The treatment will have a mind of its own. I was unable to communicate very well verbally for quite some time. I set up a Bcc and kept people informed via email and occasional photos. I realized some time into it that it was a gift to allow people to help. My wife needed some respite time away from it and she still had a nervous breakdown post Tx. Don't be surprised if all the help occurs in the beginning while you are still pretty capable of taking care of yourself. People were offering to bring meals while I could still go out to restaurants. People were still offering financial help when we actually had equity credit line left. When we really NEEDED the help, it seems they had all moved on to other things. You'll also find that some people just can't deal with it - they'll actually ask to be taken off of the email list (it's just too close to their own fears of mortality I guess). Forgive them. Then others will step up to the plate who you would never have guessed. Since most of my family has already died (mostly from cancer) all I had was my wife, my extended church family and a few close friends who hung in there with me.

I would suggest simply staying in the "now". Things will happen just as they are supposed to. None of have any control over the future and many times it works out better than we anticipated anyway. This might be the beginning of huge growth and healing in your family if you are open minded and allow it.

My wife and I have a closeness that we never enjoyed before. This phenomena has occured to many here. The diseases gift is that it realigns your priorities. Things that bothered you before are no longer of any consequence. It will desensitize you to the trivial.