Thanks to you all, for the encouragement.

well I got an unexpected break today. I woke up with the very clear sensation that I was coming down with a unrinary tract infection. Which would explain the low fever I've had for the last couple of nights. When I called teh med oncologist's office (after a couple of hours of think it might "go away"-- yeah right), they had me come in to take a WBC and get a urine culture and they gave me antibiotics. My WBC was really low so they said they wouldn't do chemo today, that it could wait a couple of days until the infection and hopefully the fever are under control.

So I just came home, ate a little, and took a loong afternoon nap which, if course, I woke from with serious mouth pain because I had slept too long. And now I need to eat more AND the low fever is back (I can take liquid tylenol I guess, for that). I also need to get some yogurt down or at least some liquid acidolphilus, which may help prevent thrush after the UTI antibiotics kick in.

One hour and day at a time seems really good advice right now. It's good to know I'm not alone in this. Also, I'll have to remind myself that I'm not whining, I'm venting!

Rosie, I have been reading all along the blog you posted about Heather, including her journal entries. And I was aware the story doesn't have a good ending, though you're right that the last entry was NOT someting I needed to read last night when I was feeling down..

When I read your blog, I am actually most touched by your words in combination with hers, how clearly you saw all the facets of Heather and loved her deeply, every little bit of her, and supported her so much all through her battle. It isn't a fair world in which people like Heather get cancer and die. The world of cancer is in general totally unfair, though, we all knew that anyway, right?