August...what were you feeling yesterday?

I went for my PEG tube. I had called a few days ago asking for something to calm me dow, Doc says I don't need it. So with panic attacks, crying and trying to breathe in and out, all the way down yesterday, I finally get there.

My legs turned into rubber when I got there, but I made it. I made it fine through the needle thing. Told the lady no residents were doing me because i panic with needles. They were very understanding.

They whell me in and all along i'm telling them I need to be as close to knocked out as possible.

I know a few of you gave me sites to check out, but not having the time to read them with that care of my dad, I need quick answers. With that in mind, I WAS NOT aware they put a tube down your throat while you're awake.

NOT A GOOD THING TO FIND OUT WHEN ON TABLE!!!

No drugs in me they tell me this is what they're doing. I don't think so!I got very panicy. My blood pressure is usually 100/70 and it went to 147/?. The nurse asks...are you nervious? Well, duh?

The doctor asks me to give it a try. I happened to look to my left and saw the THing they were gonna put down me and I freaked. I said the only way that thing is going down is if you knock me out. So i'm waiting to be re-scheduled.

This is imbarrassing, but I was orally raped years ago, and that's where my panic comes from. I had a hard time just with the scope going up my nose, but coped with it because it was a difference site.

I have read where there are people who have gone through this with no PEG tube. I'm thinking that's the was to go for me. I'm 5'1" and weigh 217lbs. I eat everything under the sun. I could stand to lose some weight, so i'm thinking I'll bypass the PEG tube.