To Joanna, Eileen, Dinah (I'll send you mittens-hope I didn't offend),DigTexas(Dan):

You guys are great and Eileen gets the prize for the big bonus of helpful tidbits to ask. I now have a NEW list of questions to tackle before Dave's surgery on 9/16.

I continue to be amazed at the strength of this network of "virtual strangers" who now have become my lifeline of trusted comrades as we all walk through living this experience together. I have printed all of these replies and am gathering them so I can rely on all of you to get me through next week. If only I could bring a laptop to the hospital waiting area!

So, Dave and I had our last meeting with surgeons on this past Friday and the reality of what we are facing next week looms large. I am wondering how any of you dealt with the few days prior to surgery and/or how your loved ones dealt in the first couple of days? Dave is having he flap/graft procedure and a modified radical neck dissection. They have told us that the reconstructive piece is longest and can make the surgery anywhere from 6-20 hours. I thinking at least Dave will be under anesthesia and an option to sedate myself looks good too. I am so worried about feeling frantic as the hours tick by. I plan to ask for updates during the surgery and am mobilizing a personal support team to help me through that day so I can be best able to help dave when the surgery is over.

Every step on this journey feels overwhelming at times but you all remain our collective inspiration. Any thoughts you could share about how to decrease the pre-op fear factor would be greatly appreciated.

Hope this day finds you all well,

Kim