Barb--how brave of you to write!
You are a person in your own right and although we all hope for happy endings, sometimes the happy endings come different ways--splitting being one of them.
I don't think there's a person here, including Jim, who hasn't been amazed at your support of him through surgery etc.
And oh boy, do I, and others I won't mention by name , understand your upset about the apparent lack of concern by others who were 'there' in emergency times, but never seemed to stay the course.
Thank you Barb for thinking of the health of the rest of us, and as for you and Jim, as separate individuals who were once together, and know a lot about each other, only you 2 know what the future can/might hold, together or apart.

Cancer is CRAP, it does change us, but as I've said before to lady partners on this board, it's never an excuse for abuse of any description, in any form. Anything other than that can either be worked through, or lead to the realisation that the relationship wasn't right BEFORE cancer.
Bless you Barb,

Brenda