Dear Julie, hard as it will be, you may just have to sit down with Rich and explain to him what this journey is doing to you as well. See if you can get him to talk to you about his expectations of the role you are to play here. [And you really need to be honest with yourself about your OWN expections of the role you will play.] From my experience with final stage cancer- as a non- nurse but a wife- it was a demanding, harrowing, heart wrentching ordeal. I honestly don't believe you can be both wife and nurse[professional caregiver] in this situation. It is too much to ask; there will be times when all you want to do is hold his hand yet you should be giving meds., taking vitals, charting, changing sheets and dressings, etc.,etc. You have time to think about this as Rich is doing pretty well right now. Amy in the Ozarks