Thankyou uptown and Carol for your kind posts. This is so hard but it makes me feel better to know others like yourself truly understand me. I think thats one of the hardest things, the isolation I feel. Everyone around me is fantastic but they have not experienced it first hand and so really do not understand me. I feel like I am a moaner or complaining if someone asks me how I feel and I answer truthfully. So I don't say very much anymore. Do you think I should put on a brave face for people or just tell it as it is. Truthfully I feel lonely enough with what i am dealing with already without scaring the people I love away. Maybe I am just being paranoid.

Cuddles to both of you,
Sweety.