Hello Sweety (again),

Everything you are experiencing is so familiar to me and most of us. It starts out as a giant roller coaster with surprises around every corner. Soon, the surprises end but the ride doesn't, unfortunately. There will be good days and there will be challenging days. I am almost nine months (nest week!) out from treatment and I, too, wonder if it will ever end. I think it just becomes more tolerable and the little things that pop up just appear as bumps in the road. I cringe when someone asks me how I am feeling because I do not feel like they really want to know...just asking to be kind. If I really stop and think about it and answer truthfully, it would be a long and exhausting conversation, for both of us!

I try not to dwell on things and just worry a bit before doctor visits and tests. That gives me a good break in between.

All in all, it is better today than it was many months ago. If you feel like you are crying for no reason, I would like to remind you that the treatment alone is very toxic and as tough as anything I can imagine. I never had any problems with the cancer, just the treatment. The doctor will gladly prescribe medication to help you relax, help you sleep and generally take the edge of off things. Good pain management will do a lot for the attitude and outlook, too.

I am sorry you are having a rough time (day). It will get better. Try to have a lot of patience because you won't notice it until you look back over extended periods of time.

Ed