My husband completed his treatment for a tumor at the base of his tongue over 5 weeks ago and is recovering well physically, but not nearly fast enough for him. At every doctor visit he asks when (and he means the exact date) the mucous and sores in his mouth will go away, his energy return, and when he will get his teeth. Of course he gets the answer that we all know, "everyone is different". Having a scientific background, my husband wants cold hard facts and data. He cannot see that he is improving every day. Friends and family who don't see him often can really see the difference but it is beyond him. Some days he is so depressed, he can't get off of the couch. He has been treated for PTSD and taking anti-depressants for several years so adding more isn't an option. I would do anything to help him.

Now he is facing neck dissection on 12/16 and I am worried that it will send him 2 steps back. Maybe when he hears that no cancer is found, his depression will start to lift. Last week his rad onc told him that the tumor at the base of his tongue was gone. Since Dr.Holland is his favorite of all his docs (mine too) he likes hearing the good news from him.

What my husband would really like is to meet OCF survivors face to face. I have encouraged him to participate in this message board and he has registered.

Meanwhile I feel like I am living on a different planet. I go about my daily life, working, volunteering, cooking, cleaning, etc., but I miss HIM.

I know most caregivers have been through the emotional ups and downs of cancer and its treatment and recovery, but it is new to me. I had no idea how it would change my life. Many of the changes are for the better, like not caring where he puts his dirty socks, but some changes are taking time to get used to. I don't want him to worry about me, but I need to vent to someone, so you all are it. Thanks for listening, Cindy