It is interesting how each person deals with this dreaded disease. My hubby who is the patient is very positive and doesn't like to talk much about it. I, the caregiver, thinks every pain he has is more cancer (as it could be). I feel like I haven't taken a full breath of relief either since first diagnosis back in July. Interestingly enough, when I felt like I was going crazy with worry after his surgery and nodes were negative and he was moving on, I was wondering why I couldn't get over it better, only to find that he had an aggressive, very quick recurrance (or something they missed initially). Anyway, I think personality becomes the driving force in how we react as the patient or the caregiver and I just rely on God to give me strength, courage and peace especially on those really "down" and scary days. This board, albeit sad at times, helps so much along with a loving support group from church.
Take care,
Deb