I'm a patient and even though things have went relatively well so far, I also find it hard to respond in "an emotionally positive" way. I have met other cancer survivors (usually not oral) who brag about "beating" it, but there are far too many recurrence and death posts here to allow myself to go there. I do my best to stay in the "now" and out of the future.

Conversely, my program of recovery tells me I must not use this as an excuse (to drink, drug or blame others) and must maintain an "attitude of gratitude". These tools help me to get through each day without dragging everybody else down with me.

This whole deal has just slapped me in the face just how precarious (and also precious) life is. I have to distance myself from time to time from all of this cancer stuff otherwise I start to drift into the negative side of the balance sheet.

I also find myself sharing some of the negative and sad posts with my wife to not give her a false sense of security just how dangerous this disease is. I don't want to give her fear, but I also don't want her blindsided if things take a turn for the worse either.

I can understand the caregiver desire to move on - it's a bit more difficult as the patient. Near death experiences have a way of doing that to you...