I'm not having a good day. I've started to pack for surgery and I've started to over-think so much. I keep wondering what I'm going to look like, how I'm going to live with the 'new normal', will people accept me etc.

I know it's natural to feel low and I know this feeling won't last that long, I'm just frustrated and tired with it all.

I sometimes don't think some of my friends understand the severity of my cancer, even though I'm beingincredibly honest and open. I know some of them don't know what to do (I got asked out for dinner the other night, when I explained I'm struggling to eat and am embarrassed to eat in public, he said "Just take some more morphine, you won't worry about people then". Needless to say I didn't go.

Surgery is in 11 days. I know this is causing the anxiety to creep in. I've actually broken out in a cold sweat (I took my ttemperature just to check that it was an anxiety attack and not me getting sicker), I just want this to be over. I want it to be 12months time where things are hopefully over and I've adjusted to my new normal.

What did some of you do to get your mind ready for surgery?