Amy,
This is a mean disease. It rarely takes prisoners. Please get to a comprehensive cancer center. From all the stories I have read and research I have done on oral cancer (and that's A LOT) this cancer will not give up easily. GIVE IT ALL YOU'VE GOT and then some. This includes the top treatment and doctors in this field. BEFORE starting radiation or chemo GET TO a major cancer center. Once you have started treatment somewhere you can't get in to see them until it's completed. (at least that was our experience). CALL TODAY! Do not let distance, family or anyone else disway you. You're fighting for survival.
As for bad things happening to good people, you are not alone. So many are on this board. Good people who this disease has struck. They have faced it and made the very best of it, as good people do and as you will. I understand your frustrations. I know it doesn't make logical sense and what Brian said is correct, but the gut human instinct is "why me?" I keep thinking that with my brother. A guy about his age in our community had a horrible accident about 1/2 way through my brother's battle. He seriously injured and out in freezing temps for hours before he was found. He was extremely intoxicate which may have actually keep him alive. He had to learn to walk and talk again. He is now well and back to doing the same things - drinking, fighting, and a poor father. It angers me that he does not respect the second chance he was given. Why him? Why not my brother? He would have treasured the opportunity to continue living, to see his little girl grow up. It's often crossed my mind that it's harder for the "bad" people to die. Maybe it's their will or lack of fear or consequences. I keep wandering how God could take my brother from his little girl. He had such a good heart and forgiving nature. Some days I've had to repeat to myself, over and over, "It rains on the just and the unjust alike." It's only natural to wonder "why" but force it to the back of your mind and focus on total recovery.

Please keep us updated on your progress.
Lots of love and strength,
Tonya