Amy, In relation to the "why me" stage, I've been through that too--and every now and then I still go there. At one point when I was right in the midst of it, shortly after being diagnosed, I walked by this old guy outside a bar with a cigarette hanging from his mouth (bars are now nonsmoking in NY and it was freezing out but he obviously needed to come out and smoke) and I had this strong urge to walk up to him and say "HEY, I got YOUR cancer! There's been a mistake!"

Then the second after the urge passed I was laughing at myself for thinking that way. I mean, who ever said life was fair, y'know? But whenever I'm driving and I pass by some old guy with a cigarette hanging from his lips I now think to myself "HEY! I think I got YOUR cancer". It helps remind me of the absurdity of trying to figure out what the meaning is behind all this and it still makes me laugh at myself (which is a good skill to have in the cancer battle)......

Nelie