Amy,
Your young age and good health habits actually work against you a little. I am not trying to frighten you but you must be as aggressive as possible in fighting this cancer.

Typically primary care doctors, dentists and some oral surgeons, as well, couldn't Dx a tumor if it jumped out and slapped them. Diseases of the throat require a specialist and even some of those will gloss it over due to young age and lack of negative health habits.

What diagnostic workups did you have? PET? MRI? CT?

Certainly your dentist and oral surgeon are to be commended for at least being conservative and ordering a biopsy in spite of their personal doubts.

Are you going to a comprehensive cancer center? If not, at the very least, I would have my records forwarded to one for evaluation of your treatment plan. Do you have a cohesive team? I.e. MO, RO and ENT or Head & Neck surgeon that are on the same page (and share information)? Has then been a tumor board to come to a consenual agreement on your treatment protocol?

As Cathy mentioned, tongue cancers, in particular, are very agressive. If it were me I would hit it with all they've got.

Brian may be able to jump in and cover the node issues in greater detail.