Wow! You all are so great to give this wise input! My husband and I both have been very interested to read and discuss your insights. We homeschool our boys and so we are both very connected to what their emotional make-up has been through this process. Since I have been fighting this "monster" since they were just 3 and 2 (my youngest had his second birthday the day before my first surgery 6 1/2 years ago) they have grown up with a more heightened awareness of this illness. In their younger days we obviously had to protect them from what they couldn't understand. This time we knew they'd be exposed to more but also mature enough to handle more. We were very honest with them about the surgery and how my appearance and abilities might change because we believed that they are more fearful and imaginative of what they don't know. Isn't that what this is about? Knowledge is power...and we extended that to our children as well, on their level and with their unique sensibilities in mind. We also allowed them to guide us into what they'd be able to handle by listening to their questions and not pushing them into anything they weren't ready for. I could go on for a lengthy discussion of how that all played out during my 3 weeks in the hospital and beyond but...

Now for my other HUGE thank you to you all and this website. Brian Hill, I'm convinced I owe you big time for having the courage in the beginning to share your life and your expertise and to open this door for us to all walk through together. My husband and I met with the radiation oncologist yesterday and because of the reading we had done here, we were able to understand and ask appropriate questions and, I believe, make some knowlegable decisions. I LOVE the doctor. I (we) felt very confident about his abilities and his manner in explaining things, his interest in my case, and his concern for honoring our input and decisions as well. I could go to a hospital much closer to my home to receive therapy but when he sensed that was not my concern he informed us that his first option was for me to drive the distance so he could allow me to benefit from IMRT. Now, if it weren't for you all, I wouldn't have even known what IMRT was so we wanted to whoop and holler when he encouraged us to pursue that. He's also being very meticulous in examining the scans and taking his own post-op ones and discussing me with my surgeon (again) so he is certain not to "kill butterflies with a rifle" but also so we can end this thing and extend my days inasmuch as God allows. I go back for the newest scan and fitting next Wednesday.

I also visited my old "stomping grounds" a couple levels up at the hospital and saw some of my favorite nurses. My surgeon has the BEST nurse practioner alive. I've been close to her since my second resection and she has walked through fire with me. She was there yesterday as well and immediately offered to meet me next week and personally give my boys a tour and education if they came with me. Things seem to be working themselves out!

Minnie, the chemo explanation your doc gave you is identical to ours. Mine has no hx of distant mets and there are no studies on the salivary gland adenocarcinoma to support its use. He was not opposed to it and in fact encouraged us to pursue inquiries of Sloan-Kettering and M.D. Anderson (or even Duke since it's closer). He had already done his homework and was unable to find anyone who know more than he did. I'm very blessed that I don't have any distant mets and that this thing seems intent on staying in the same place. We'd be at a different ball-park altogether if that were the case. It's still considered "low-grade" so even though my scars don't concur, we left the hospital feeling more hopeful about the prospects.

I don't know why I can't keep these short! But I know I couldn't wait to tell you all what we found out. Thanks for the prayers, advice, and encouragement. Please don't stop!

Ruth