Hi Ruth,
It sounds like you had a pretty extensive surgery, as did I. I also had radiation but no chemo. My doctors explanation for no chemo was that my tumor was very contained to my jaw and that the one lymphnode that was affected was at the top of that lymphnode chain, with no evidence that it had gone below that one lymphnode. In other words, they felt confident that no cancer cells had escaped. That will remain to be seen I guess.
My youngest girls were 9,11 and 12 when I was going through radiation and it was tough on them. In particular on the 11 year old. The radiation is going to make you very sick, you will take longer to recover from this treatment then from your surgery. My advice would be to let your kids know this upfront, show them online what you will be doing for treatments. They're used to the PEG tube already so that's good. I even took my kids to the radiation center for my last treatment for my bell ringing ceremony. Seeing it all and knowing what is happening will take away some of their fears.
It sounds like you have an excellent attitude and a wonderful support group, I think you'll get through this just fine.
Minnie

SCC Left Mandible. Jaw replaced with bone from leg. Neck disection, 37 radiation treatments. Recurrence 8-28-07, stage 2, tongue. One third of tongue removed 10-4-07. 5-23-08 chemo started for tumor behind swallowing passage, Our good friend and much loved OCF member Minnie has been lost to the disease (RIP 10-29-08). We will all miss her greatly.