Thank you all for your replies. I was certainly quite angry about the whole situation. It's no one's fault that they were able to make a better diagnosis based on more accurate information. It was just incredibly frustrating going through that process of figuring out just how bad it really is.

I had surgery about a month ago. They removed the tumor on my tongue with clean margins and 3 of 20 lymph nodes were cancerous. I just had a port and feeding tube put in yesterday (Has anyone else had this? Is that a normal thing? The tube is painful...) and I'll be starting chemo-radiation on the 23rd. I'm soo ready to get started and get it over with!

I am also apprehensive about putting my body through all of that because there are no guarantees and there's always a chance that it doesn't get rid of it completely. However, I understand that it's better to hit it hard the first go around and if it does come back, well, that's for another day.

Thank you all for your encouragement and support!