Thanks for your replies. I did not mean to give the impression that I continually look back at "what was" (OK, maybe sometimes - like when I posted the above "rant.")). But I am doing my best to look ahead at all the good things around me (and there are a lot). I think the main frustration that I have is trying to exercise and losing the weight. Not just from a vanity point. I am not used to the extra weight and it is very uncomfortable. Also causes me to lose my breath. And I am working on those issues. These boards were also so helpful to me when I was going through treatment - especially David CPA. (Thanks David - sorry I haven't kept in touch). I will do better.
To sum it up, all of you are correct in looking for the good things in life, and they are many. And I do that most of the time. If I can be of any help to any newcomers, I would be glad to listen. Thanks,
Sandy