Oh Estelle, why would you think any of us would block you. This forum is for you and me and everyone else who comes her for advice, comfort and support.
Your new news isn't the best. However there is no definitive diagnosis yet. With this disease our minds take off on a terrible tangent, the trick is to tell it to stop.
This was a little trick a therapist taught me during our cancer journey. If your mind goes to the dark place, let it. But, after a minute yell at yourself loudly - in your head - STOP. Then think of another happier topic. Surprisingly this has worked well for me.
As you work in the hospital system are you able to ring your team in a couple of days for the results? I too am a Nurse and our ENT rang me with Kirs's initial biopsy results and with the second he came to the unit where I work to tell me.
You are right, it's either a recurrence ... Or it isn't. No amount of worrying will change that.
Sending you heaps of positive thoughts and vibes,
Tammy