Oh Terri, I am really sorry to hear that you guys have this stress at Christmas - or at any time.
You know Jeff best and you know how he would react.
Kris would have been furious with me for not telling him, especially as you can't really wriggle out of this as the time frame is so short.
When Kris was originally diagnosed 3 years ago, the ENT rang me to tell me the biopsy was positve for SCC. I did not tell Kris. The ENT told him a week later, pretending that I did not know either. I knew Kris would have been furious with me knowing and him not. In fact, Kris told me that he was going to the ENT appt by himself to get the results as this was about him. I replied that what happened to Him happened to Me. To this day Kris still doesn't know that I was aware of his diagnosis well before he was.
All this said Terri, if I was you, I would find a quiet time when you and Jeff can talk and I would tell him that his team is recommending a biopsy on the 26th. You just have to be honest and say your gut instinct was to protect him, that you wanted him to really enjoy Christmas with the Family. He will understand I'm sure.
Gosh, this is a hard one. Either way it will upset Christmas Day .
Do try not to preempt what this all means, it may well be nothing, but the Team is doing the best for Jeff by doing a biopsy. The good stuff is that this spot was seen on the previous scan and has not grown. I would be comforted by that.
In spite, of all this Terri, you will have a good Christmas surrounded by your Family and their love.
Tammy


Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!