Hi Sandy,
I think for you to just be able to read what others have been through could be a positive thing. Many have been through the same and they are still here to encourage others.
It is absolutely ok to feel the way you feel. We used to try to take it day by day and then sometimes hour by hour in the harder times. But you will come to a point where you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Until then...relax in the hands of your surgeon and let the meds get you through; and please update us when you can. Or maybe even have someone else keep in touch for a bit.
Prayers for tomorrow,
Kathy