Hi, my name is Nancy and I've been meaning to write for awhile. I've needed support from people who have taken this journey for a while now, but too gripped with fear, anxiety and depression to even try to express myself. As you can see from my signature I'm not new to the site. I am supposed to start radiation on 8/26 which is at 8 weeks post surgery, instead of 6 for a variety of reasons. I didn't push it as now I can drop my son off at college (freshman year) and also I'm physically not ready. I lost 13 pounds which I never gained back in 2011, then another 10 this last surgery, which puts me at a whopping 103. I try my best to eat, but it's hard. I will get a G tube placed in a few hours, which was my idea, and finally the R.O. concurred. I'm just a wreck about it, and of course the radiation. I don't need to talk to anyone, but I'm thinking about some meds. I'm being treated at UCLA, which actually is outside my HMO plan and I trust my R.O. One thing that is worrisome, is that the UCLA resident who works with me, tho she is awesome keeps acting like I'm gonna bounce back and be ready to go in November. I'm a Sign Language Interpreter, I need to move my neck and use all my facial muscles and speak for long periods of time. I don't imagine I will be able to get back to my profession for quite some time.
I've printed out Christine's list of food, and "Fishmanpa's" swallowing exercises. Thank you both so much. Because I heal so slowy I worry. I'm still not at 100% since the last surgery, and have an apthous ulcer which is healing slower than usual. That's normal for my mouth, so I can't even begin to imagine what radiation is going to do to me. I can go on and on, but I don't think I need to, after two years of reading posts, making a few comments and lots do prayers for people, I'm confident that you understand where I'm at by what I've said so far.
I do have two questions...when I need some encouraging words from any of you, can I just continue on this thread for awhile? Or I suppose if I have a spefic question, I suppose I cam start a new topic. Also, a friend of my sisters went through this and he said he had some kind of elixir that he took before he practiced swallowing everyday, however he can't remember what is was called? Anyone know the name, or names of this elixir?
Many many thanks for reading my post, and for all that you do. You are truly amazing people. Hopefully when I'm on the other side do this, I will have encouraging words for future "Posters"
After reading what I wrote I can see that it's a bit repetive, but it's the best I can do expressing myself in writing. Sorry