Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 | Francesca, Listen to what your husband said. He said 'he wanted you to hate him so you wouldn't miss him if he anything happened to him'. That sounds like a statement of tremendous love to me. He is worried about you.
We patients can be very diffcult preople to live with as we go through treatment and recovery. It's kind of like we go through 'dry drunks' that alcoholics go through and in our frustration and anger, we can say things hurt the ones we love. I know my husband loves me dearly, but I also have seen unimaginable hurt in his eyes which I never meant to cause. Try not to take everything so personally.
It is very frightening to suddenly face your own mortality even if the dx is very good. Everything you had planned in life is put on hold because you don't know when you will get better or if there will be a reoccurence. I think it is only natural to want to do 'everything in life you always wanted' just in case you run out of time. But does that mean it won't include you? Just maybe he wants the both of you to do these things.
As to healing, I too had no peg and went back to work after 3 weeks, didn't need the pain meds. Lots of foods tasted awful, especially pork. Rare steak was the easiest. Eating out was a real chore. You just have to keep trying until you find what works for you. Different people heal at different rates, but if he is willing to keep trying and keep his nutrition up, he should do well. My nutrtionist put me on a high protein diet and zinc, a multivitiamin, 500 unit Vit C bid and 400 vit E bid to promote healing. Check with his nutrionist for what he should take.
I finished rad on Thanksgiving and we took a trip to St Kitts in the spring. I think this was very helpful for both of us. Getting our life back to something we had done before and proving to both of us that there is 'still life after cancer' and that I could still travel.
I hope things go better for the both of you. Get medical help if you think it is depression for either of you. Come back as often as you need to. There is lots of help on this board and a good place to vent.
Take care, Eileen
---------------------- Aug 1997 unknown primary, Stage III mets to 1 lymph node in neck; rt ND, 36 XRT rad Aug 2001 tiny tumor on larynx, Stage I total laryngectomy; left ND June 5, 2010 dx early stage breast cancer June 9, 2011 SCC 1.5 cm hypo pharynx, 70% P-16 positive, no mets, Stage I
|