Francesca,

Sometimes, the world expects men to be a lot tougher than they want to or should be. In this "man's world" we are taught to show emotion is to show weakness. Over time we are literally brainwashed into believing we are really expected to be that way.

Throw in a life-threatening illness such as SCC and it magnifies all the issues in life we would normally deal with in a different way. Just like grieving in any way, the stages of cancer acceptance requires us to go through each step in our own way. We all move through anger, denial, guilt/blame and acceptance at our own speed in our own way. Anger is the one emotion that we typically only express around people we love because it is perceived as a sign of vulnerability.

I am sorry you have had to see your husband experience the roller coaster ride of cancer and I am really amazed at how well he has done and is doing. Hopefully, this will be behind you both and life can go on, after cancer. Try to not allow his sniping to become personal attacks on you. Most likely, he is not really directing this at you but just doens't see how it is affecting you because of his concerns about beating this beast of a disease.

Ed