HI there... I am not going to comment on the insensitivity of the firm you work for or HR... frankly I work for the school board. When I was diagnosed, I was immediately given a leave of absence, with full pay for three months then 70 of my pay until I was ready to come back. I could have milked this for 3 years had I wanted to but I was back at work within 8 mos (It would have been 5 mos but I have summers off so I started back at the beginning of the school year) I think when you are ill or dealing with a family member who is seriously ill, unless self employed - this is the type of consideration that should be offered unconditionally. If you treat people decently they generally will work harder because it's a job they wouldn't want to lose. ;o) but people here will tell you I am an idealist.

Anyway - did you look into a hope lodge for your mom? Instead of renting an apartment, most cancer centers have a place affiliated with them that offers a room for two people during treatment monday to friday... then on weekends you can drive home.

Hugs and best of luck my dear.