Hi Littlebird

Sounds like your firm doesn't quite "get it" yet. Also sounds like problem solving isn't a strong point. Mandatory Monday morning meeting indeed! Don't you work with smart people who can do stuff like - I don't know - update you when you return on Tuesday? Allow you to attend the meeting remotely? Ring you if they can't figure it out by themselves?.

Your employers need to be shocked and awed by what you are facing so they have a realistic expectation of what you can and cannot do. One thing you cannot do is predict what is going to happen and this needs to be impressed upon your bosses so THEY can step up and show a bit of flexibility.

My workplace was excellent. Even so, I was still reminded of missed deadlines and looming projects which stressed me out and the "take all the time you need" sentiment only seemed valid as long as my work didn't suffer. To their credit, however, once I pointed this out to them, allowances were made (such as attending meetings remotely ) whilst the important stuff was covered by other less able but more available (and willing) colleagues.

Consider a temporary shift in your attitude to work ... For me it was my own attitude that created the biggest barrier. To expect to be able to continue at the same pace at work whilst adding the management/support of a loved one was just flat out crazy. I don't think I realised how much time Alex's illness would take out of the day, nor how the stress of worrying would wipe out my ability to consider anything else.
I became very fond of saying to my mother - "I will save my nervous breakdown till this is over because I could never forgive myself if Alex died and I hadn't given it my all". Remembering why I needed to "give it my all" gave me focus and allowed me to put the guilt of missing work back in its low priority box.

Lay your situation out baldly so there is no misunderstanding of the gravity or risks of the situation. Give them the good the bad and the ugly. I would be inlcined to lay it out to your bosses and HR which may be more inclined to run interference for you if your bosses momentarily forget themselves and ask you to place billable hours over the life of the human being who means everything to you.

Alex suffered complications which added around 50 unscheduled appointments and hospitalisations to his scheduled treatment sessions and appointments. Whilst this will hopefully not happen to your mother, your employers expectations (and your own) need to be tempered just in case...

A couple of things you can count on:

Appointments never run to time
I lost count of the number of times I told work I would not be in till 11am as Alex and I had a 9am appt and then had to ring at 11 to say the hospital was running late I might make it after lunch, then repeating the process to revise to 2pm then maybe 3pm and finally that I wouldn't be in that day. It got to the stage that my assistant would tell me not to worry and she would just tell everyone that I was not available for the day and if I actually did manage to return, it would be a bonus.

Stuff happens
Alex and I had to work around multiple unplanned procedures from blood draws to surgery as well added appointments with allied healthcare professionals outside the scheduled weekly "group hug". There was also a parade of non-medical appointments to sort out entitlements, finances, legals etc. We also found that weekly visits with the general physician became necessary for steadily increasing numbers of 'scripts for pain, reflux, arrhythmias, blood pressure, smoking cessation, mineral deficiencies and metabolic disturbances.

Yes, I agree with everyone else, that all being well, things become more predictable once treatment starts, but there is also plenty of scope for the unexpected.

Through all this, keep remembering your priority is your mother and if work suffers, then so be it. It is also imperative that your employer/boss also remembers that people come first.