Tower,

Frankly, I chickened out and was fortunate to have a close relationship with an oncology psychiatrist from my mother's terminal cancer. I went to the same cancer center so I asked her if she could "sit in" on the discussion. Both boys (13, 15), my wife and I went to her office since we were there already getting some info from the doctors. She was the safety net we used as we talked to the boys. I think this was one of the toughest things I have had to endure in my life.

I went back to work full time two weeks after treatment and this was way too soon. My work was in another city and I drove 400 miles each week so I could take extra medical supplies. The company was going under and I was fearful of being fired to save money which eventually happened just like that. I worked for about 2 1/2 months and the constant fear of being fired and pushing to get back to work just about did me in.

My boys are just now talking about how bad things were last year. My oldest son admitted he has been in denial until recently that I even was sick. I can see some of the toll it took on my boys and my dear wife but I am sure it is better on the surface for them.

Ed

SCC Stage IV, BOT, T2N2bM0
Cisplatin/5FU x 3, 40 days radiation
Diagnosis 07/21/03 tx completed 10/08/03
Post Radiation Lower Motor Neuron Syndrome 3/08.
Cervical Spinal Stenosis 01/11
Cervical Myelitis 09/12
Thoracic Paraplegia 10/12
Dysautonomia 11/12
Hospice care 09/12-01/13.
COPD 01/14
Intermittent CHF 6/15
Feeding tube NPO 03/16
VFI 12/2016
ORN 12/2017
Cardiac Event 06/2018
Bilateral VFI 01/2021
Thoracotomy Bilobectomy 01/2022
Bilateral VFI 05/2022
Total Laryngectomy 01/2023