Hi

Results from my panendoscopy are in, and they are all negative, which would indicate an "occult" primary.

This is good news in many ways (I think?), but not necessarily so from a radiation treatment standpoint.

It seems as though my cure is going to be far, far worse than my disease has been, at least up to this point. Although I am determined to follow the advice of my radiation oncologist, I can't tell you how tempting it is to postpone the damn radiation, and just monitor things instead.

I feel as though I'm about to step into a whirlwind, where I will lose all control of my life for the next few months (at least), and I'm scared s---less that I won't be able to step back out and be able to put it all back together afterwards.

Sorry to be so negative. I know, when all is said and done, that I am more fortunate than most on this board.

On a lighter note, it's been 10 days since I had my last cigarette. To be honest the tonsillectomy has made it a bit easier, but I still feel pretty good about quitting, and hopefully I am over the hump.

Can anyone give me some idea what radiation treatment I may be facing, and how soon after treatment I might realistically expect to be able to return to work (and be productive).

Thanks,
tower