So very sorry to hear. I hear and feel your pain.
Have you been in contact with the Hospice people to not only help you and Ron through this , but also to help with the pain issues.
Are the Drs able to give any more radiation to assist with the pain and try and slow down the tumour growth? I'm clutching at straws here, you have probably been through all this.
I honestly don't know how we as caregivers get through this. It is horrendous. Use all the medications you need to help you. It is about just getting through.
Thinking of both you and Ron,
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!