OK, Tina - no rah-rah talk here. You have a right to your feelings and you certainly deserve to have compassion for yourself after what you have been through and are still experiencing (which is quite different from feeling sorry for yourself). As others have suggested, it might be a good idea to check out some other causes like meds which can cause depression or even suicidal thoughts, the holidays, winter doldrums also known as S.A.D (season affective disorder) which is a result of not enough sunlight. The loss of a previous lifestyle can leave you grieving and be just as difficult as any other kind of loss. The tear jerker movie and a good cry can be very cleansing. Or a funny movie and chocolate! Or if the sun comes out, go stand by a sunny window. My son made what I thought was a very astute observation after taking what the doc had prescribed for his depression (my son's, not the doc's). He said: "The meds don't take away the problem, but they make you not care so much." On a depression scale of 1-10, you cannot expect to feel better all at once, it takes very small steps - so if you are at a 4 and can make it to 4.5, that's good. Whatever works, is worth a try. Hope you start feeling a little better, soon.