Hi all. I know I am usually a cheerleader here, but I am struggling for the moment, and feeling pretty down. Then I feel stupid for getting down because, comparatively speaking, I know I have been extremely lucky. Well the rational part of my brain knows that, the irrational side keeps whispering that I want my life back.

I can't talk to my "bio" family or friends about this, as they are all "rah rah, you're so strong", so I'm turning to the OCF family...

My speech has taken a down turn recently. Don't know why. My shoulders and back feel like I just did the hardest workout ever, and my neck is still swollen and feels like I am wearing a choke collar. Again, rationally, I know this will "all take time", but if one more person says that to me, I may punch them, then I'll just be feeling miserably in jail.

Some of you want to take a go at kicking me in the ass here?

Tina
Diag: Aug. 13/12
T3N0M0
50% + glossectomy and bilateral radical neck dissection, removal of nodes zones I - V
Surgery October 11/12
Chemo/rad on hold due to clear margins and nodes
Sept 21/13 clear CT with anomaly thought to be the artery, being watched closely.
Dec 16/13 - anomaly confirmed artery, all clear
nickname: "get 'r done"
Plans: kick cancer's butt