Oh Steve. I'm so sorry that things have got so bad for you. I'm presuming that your medical team are aware of how treatment is affecting you and what you are now considering.
Please be aware that most of what you are experiencing is temporary. It does get better. It takes time but it most certainly does get better.
I really hope that you have a solid support network to support and guide you from herein.
As Paul said - please reconsider.
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!