Howdy Barbara!
I'm going to call you Bab's for short though

So welcome to our little club, a safe place on the net where it's OK to be scared. This is heavy stuff and if you weren't afraid, you wouldn't be human. The good thing Babs, is you have us now to reach out, grab your hand and help you through because that's what we do here at OCF.
First, take a breath, and then another one and let's start living in the moment. I find when I do that, and just look at what's right in front of me, I don't get overwhelmed at the sheer weight of all that is cancer. Yoga, meditation, exercise, drugs...whatever you need to relax is only going to help you.
When your are stressed your body starts to produce a hormone called Cortisol, which is the fight or flight response. Cortisol has horrible long term effects to your system, lowering the immune system, and as it counteracts Insulin, it interferes with digestion and absorption of nutrients in your body. This is really important to know actually as nutrition is one of the most important aspects of cancer treatment and recovery.
So...let's work on keeping calm as it literally is only going to better your chances of surviving. Ativan, Xanax, are great, I recommend Marijuana myself (vaporized or injested, never smoked) as it helps up your appetite, and it makes everything funny, even cancer. Pop in a Cheech and Chong movie and enjoy Popcorn while you can.
Keep your chin up girl,
Eric