Okay, I got through the verification simulation with the mask on Nov 8. I took 1 Ativan and my husband was in the room until they closed the door. When they snapped me in I had a moment and they had to take it off. Got it together, went somewhere else in my head and made it through. My RTTs, Rachel and Carlos were wonderful! Then on Friday, Nov 9 they put the g tube in through the abdominal wall and also put the port in. I had been told it would feel like I'd been kicked in the stomach for a few days. More like cut in the stomach and then kicked a bunch of times. Wow, it hurts more than the neck dissection! I am the person that never even had pain numbing meds when having dental work done, and definitely nothing when I delivered my two sons. I feel like I need pain medication for everything now. Crazy. The past few days have been really tough emotionally/mentally, but I feel a little stronger this morning. I will get the "kick it in the ass" attitude back before rads start. I start radiation on Tuesday and my first cisplatin on Thursday. I still have a lot of questions for the chemo doc as there seems to be a break down in communication already. I seem to be rambling and I am not sure if I'm posting correctly. I've not done anything like this before, so hope I'm following your rules.