Hi, WendyB!

As the saying here goes, we're glad you found us, but sorry you had to.

I can't even imagine all that you have had to endure. I read your signature and I was stunned! How can life be so unfair? I don't know. Some of us really do get more than our fair share of battles and heartache. I'm so sorry that you've had to go through it all.

I had anxiety and depression at baseline, before my diagnosis. It was well-controlled with meds and occasional counseling. That all changed when I was diagnosed 16 months ago. I had uncontrollable anxiety before surgery and sunk into a DEEP depression thereafter, despite having a good prognosis. Cognitively, I know it's all normal, but I still feel guilty at times for feeling the way I do. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, which was cumulative due to other tragic events leading up to my diagnosis. You have had similar tragic events in a cumulative manner. It's no wonder you are depressed and angry. You are grieving MANY things and grief has no timeline. So, please be gentle with yourself. Get the help that you need when you need it. There is no shame in it and it doesn't mean that you are crazy. I have those irrational thoughts creep in all of the time.

The depression is much better, but my anxiety is still pretty bad at times and has become chronic. I am doing my best to manage it. Am I doing everything right? Hell, no! But, it's the best I can do for today.

Please come back here! We are here to support you and if you ever feel ready, you can help others with sharing your experience and understanding. That might help you in the long run!

Hugs,
Kerri