Hi Jane,
I agree with David. It sounds as though your mom has been through so much already. Please be sure to give her a chance to let you know her feelings on treatment. The tx is very hard and challenging. My husband was only 52 and it took it's toll on him. I can't imagine being 87.
Being the caregiver is such a mixed blessing place to be. It gives you the opportunity to smother your patient with love, but it also carries the burden of decision making and literally feeling their pain, only we don't have pain meds!!
I'm so sorry your family is going through this. We are here for you. Please come back and let us know how things are going. You are not alone!!
Blessings,
Kathy