Hey John,

Caregiver here. Apologize. Share the words you put up here with her. I found them to be raw and real and moving. And consider that at some point in this she'll probably go off on YOU.

And the fact that going off felt good just screams to me that you want to fight. Great, that spirit will help you many times over as you fight off grief, negative thoughts and negative people.

And I must borrow the words of others here because I have not walked in your shoes............Don't give cancer more power than it deserves. It can't take everything but you can certainly give it everything, if you choose. Our situation is still very difficult right now on many fronts but I still love watching toddlers and piles of puppies. I'm still amazed by the ocean and in love with music. Modern Family makes me laugh. I give love and receive love. Buddy, allow yourself to feel oh so sad, if you don't you must be lying to yourself. Then scrap yourself back up and get back to the fight.

All the best