I wish you all th every best with Ida's surgery. Please post an update for us when its over. I know its hard! Sometimes being the caregiver is harder than being the patient. Having to sit back and watch everything and still try to be strong can be a very difficult task. Some caregivers end up on anxiety meds to deal with all the stress.

When Ida finishes this surgery she may or may not look different. You will soon be tested as to how strong your bonds really are. Looks really dont mean very much. Sure to the outside world they do but its still Ida inside. Im speaking from experience on this. I am missing a big portion of my face, half my lower jaw. People may stare if she doesnt look the same. From what you described she should look pretty close to herself. You will never be able to change the fact that no matter what the outside shows its still your sweet Ida on the inside. Her voice could be a little different but its still her. If she requires additional reconstructive surgery to look better, it will be done a year from now. Her body needs to first recover fully. Swelling can take months to recede. Usually after the first month most of it will be gone.

Ida is very lucky to have you in her corner. Make sure you dont worry yourself so much. Please take care of you and try to stay very busy. Time can be an enemy making you worry about 'what if'. Keeping busy will help pass the time a little easier.

Best wishes to you both!