Don't beat yourself up over could haves and should haves - it serves no purpose. I should hav pushed my first ENT - too. I should have had him palpate my tongue further and suggested he go deeper when biopsying. Had I done that I would have lost less of my tongue. But I trusted he was an expert. not so much apparently - that's why im super diligent with my care now. Bottom line - you have an opportunity to deal with it now. I personally think its not cancer. The lesion may be - but based on the fact that you have many symptoms and bilateral involvement (it's kinda diffuse and all over) it sounds to me like something else - maybe some kind of systemic infection? Inflammation? Allergy? Lymph nodes do become involved but it often starts out in a particular area just under you chin and closer to your ear and usually on one side. If there are many nodes involved generally the primary cancer is quite large - not all the time (there is such a thing as an occult primary - not visible - or unknown)- but often. Have you been scoped? The dr takes a scope and goes through your nose or mouth and down your throat? You may have a lesion in your mouth but maybe - based on what your saying with the swallowing and strangling feeling (tightness) maybe you have a base of tongue tumor (HPV related) or a tonsilary cancer (also HPV related) with this type of cancer there can be more throat and neck symptomology. So have your dr scope you to see if you're clear. But honestly it sounds like something else. Try not to freak out sometimes the stress alone causes us to exhibit more symptoms. everyone is different there are certain things drs look for and things that we as a group know and see collectively, but nothing is definitive because not everyone is the norm... What I do know is that both physically or mentally you need an answer.

Make the appointment and good luck.