Well, I went just got back from the dentist. Unfortunately I do not have some horrible dental infection. Quite frankly I was hoping to find out that is what it was. In fact, I only have one cavity, while my previous dentist told me I had five.

With every other possibility that disappears, the fear that this could be cancer increases. The dentist said that the ulcer appears to be trauma-related, such as biting or rubbing on my cheek. He says that when people are stressed or tense they tend to do it without realizing it. I also feel that he was holding back some thoughts because I think it was fairly obvious that my anxiety level over this situation is high. He said that he was leaning towards monitoring the situation, but that if I wanted a referal to an oral surgeon he would definitely give me one.

I took the referal, though I'm not real interested in going to just any oral surgeon. I want to go to one who is not unwilling to discuss the posibility of cancer with me. I guess I have some looking around to do.

He did mention that the parotid (I think) glands are right where some of my areas of complaint are, including the ulcer. I don't know if that is good or bad at this point. All I know is I am tired of running around from doctor to doctor trying to find out why I feel so terrible. I can't get the thought out of my head that they aren't going to find out what is wrong with me until I have one foot in the grave.

I'm sorry to dump all of this on you guys, I know you have your own problems and have been through so much even after finally finding out what was wrong. I just don't have anyone to talk to about this. Without any kind of diagnosis my friends and family won't accept my concerns as valid either. I can understand why, but it sucks no less.

Thanks for listening and best wishes to all of you going through any of this.