Sandy,
wish I was there to give you a hug. I'm not a litigeous type, either - but have you talking to a lawyer about your mom? Not thinking of the money, but of the justice.

I think your ex's situation is less clear-cut, a consultation might not hurt there, either.

CG to husband - SCC Tonsil T1N2M0 HPV+ Never Smoker
First symptoms 7/2010, DX 12/2010
TX 40 IRMT (1.8 gy) + 10 Cetuximab
PET Scans 6/2011 + 3/2012 clear, 5 year physical exam clear; chest CT's clear of cancer. On thyroid pills. Life is good.