Thanks everyone. I've had a long think about this today and have decided that I need ocf as much as it needs me so I'm staying. All these messages have shown me that our story is helping people. I can't offer much in advise on things other than from the viewpoint of a carer but I can tell Steve's story to show that people can get through this ordeal. I think it was just bad timing with his surgery. I don't need to tell you all of the stress prior and on the day. It seems to make things appear so much worse than they are sometimes. I do realise this person's unhappiness and negativity is not our issue and we have a right to be happy. We still face the daily battles that everyone does after OC. Steve also has been going to HBO every day for 6 weeks. He's in pain after his surgery and his face is swollen and he has another 2 weeks of hbo to go. So OC life continues for us even though we are back to work and living a "normalish" life. We just chose to focus on the good things in life and not dwell on the things we have to deal with daily. Anyway I just wanted to say thankyou to all of you. It's been an incredibly tough 2 and a half years but we are focussing on the happiness. I refuse to let anyone take that away anymore

@Karen, so glad that "my Steve" has helped Alex. If Steve's story helps just one person then we are both happy.