As Eric said, there are a few of us around that can speak to this surgery. It is a massive surgery, with involvement of a lot if different disciplines, and a large part of the body overall. Recovery is not quick, but it is measurable. Three weeks after release from hospital following my surgery ( which was very similar) I was on an airplane across country for a conference.
There WILL be surprises, good and bad. Likely some setbacks too, along the way. I thnk the single biggest thing that will get you all through this phase is your perspective; it is a PHASE of treatment, it will be short term in the grand scheme of things, and he will adapt to all of the elements of his "new normal" at his own pace, in his own way, but HE WILL adapt. Some of us fixated on different things during the surgical phase...for me it was the trach...I could NOT wrap my head around that and it scared me to death.
Once The surgery was over, I discovered that it was really much less than I'd expected, it was not nearly as awful as I'd thought, and I kept thinking over and over again...."this is helping me to get well"...
It's a tough time, but it sounds like he has what we all need most; a good support network. Be there for him, and he'll make it work