Personal issues combined with the load of oral cancer awareness month and the record number of events we had (over 1500) have prevented me from being here much recently. I missed the last foray into the realm of intolerance and incivility. But Christine wielded the sword, perhaps a little late as it was her first exercise of deleting people's postings. Over the last decade I have had to pull more than a few arrows out of my back, but I have a thick skin and also am cognizant of my own short comings which I likely do not need to reiterate to anyone here. So I am, as a flawed individual, sometimes a bit too tolerant of stuff that I myself could have said or at least felt.

So here is my pledge on behalf of what I still believe is the best patient to patient/caregiver communication tool on the web, OCF's forum.

I have said in the past that these forums while public, are not a democracy. Somethings regardless of who posts them are just not tolerated. Ask any monitor or admin how many isp address and names are on the banned list. It is long. That being said, and the easy act of deleting anything from a post to a poster for a short time or forever, I and the other admins will reel in immediately anyone, including someone we may think of as a personal friend over the years, for stepping over the line. You have to understand how difficult this actually is, as that judgment is highly subjective to every admin. I will have a round table with the others and we will discuss how to best correct what this thread clearly shows has been a problem. I don't think we will ever please everyone, that is just not possible. But we certainly can delete any post that steps out of line, and warn the poster that the next incursion across the line is penalty box time (bans have time choices of days, weeks, to months and forever).

If someone who has been routinely helpful suddenly turns into trouble for some reason (the most common reasons have been the result of emotional stressors at home and newly prescribed opiates) the admins will communicate with them to understand the situation, and ask them to work with us directly and off the boards, as the admins were chosen for their judgement, people skills, regularity on the boards, and ability to make logical decisions about problems on the fly. There isn't an admin that wouldn't be willing to sort out the offenders problem with them, and make an appropriate judgement call, even though those interactions are everyone's least favorite way to spend time.

I recommend that anyone who feels that a particular post deserves the attention of an admin, take a second and notify one for them to look at. We can miss things, though certainly not the big fights, and we can clip/edit posts or just delete them in a second, and follow up with the poster as to why we did. The few times that I have actually had this kind a patience (the delete button is just too easy) the offending poster finally left of their own free will after finding their barbs removed repeatedly.

So if you feel something is heading south, say something to a person that can do something about it, not back to the offender which may end up escalating the issue. We will try to sort things out appropriately.

DISCLAIMER. Eric, I, and Charm - (I am the only admin in this group) are not known for our lack of candor. Blunt honesty can be our rule of the day, and many times said with something we will refer to as less than tact.... If you find that you would prefer that you do not want me or someone else to be part of the dialog on your thread say so. You aren't going to hurt any of our feelings. But that does NOT mean you will be allowed to put out bad information, or lead people down a dubious path of information OR THINKING, as the well being of posters is paramount. Correct scientific information is the basis of good judgments, and that has to prevail here.

I have seen many flame wars here on the boards, and in every one of them including the recent, there was no hard line right and wrong, but harsh statements for sure. But when it gets to name calling, it is way over the line. I think that the missed point by some, is that it escalates because BOTH sides escalate it. In this last one going back and re reading the threads, it was almost like a co-dependent relationship, one side feeding off the other. I urge you all to consider allowing the admins to stop things and not escalate something that is already inappropriate. Name calling is the last resort of someone without a legitimate argument. By then it is not repairable by anyone. Please do not be party to anything going that far.

This will board will never be perfect. But we can all work to make it better.