Hi Charles,

I can empathise with your outlook. Everytime I have surgery or treatment I mourn for what I have lost. It is hard not to look back and see the person that you once were. I miss my smile, eating, drinking, my ability to articulate clearly, how I used to look and the ease of social interactions and phone calls. Even little things like whistling and barracking at the football. All of the things that other people take for granted, I mourn for. My pity party doesn't usually last long but I think we've earned the right to have the occasional 'why me' moment.

Once I get over that I am able to celebrate the good that remains in my life. I am grateful for my family and the friends who have stood by me. I can walk, travel, go out and find a way to do most things. I celebrate achievements that I once took for granted. I don't count my anniversaries, but then I've never gone a full year without a recurrence. If I ever do then I may just pour a bottle of champagne down my PEG! This disease has taught me to cherish and value every day, to live in the moment and to take nothing for granted!

Sue G