Well actually its been 8 months since my last surgery. My doctor said everything looks great, nothing suspisious. So I am greatful for that. Some you you know I had been struggleing with fear and anger recently, maybe this will help. I was almost having a panic attack while waiting to see her in the office yesterday. I hope I can be more confident now, and live life with less fear and anxietey. It keeps me from living life how I truly want to. From time to time I experience like flash backs to times during my illness, like when I went back to the doctor after my first surgery and she told me that we didn't get clear margins, and we had to start over.Then the same thing happend after my 2nd surgery. Or at my last surgury, I was in the hopsital after my partial-glossectomy (entire left side) and I couldn't close my mouth as my tongue was to swollen, I was trying to rinse and spit all the gook out of my mouth, I looked in the mirror and there seemed to be a monster staring back at me. I just can't seem to get the memories to go away. I am sure many of you have experianced this. But I guess I hope to be greatful 1 day at a time. As I build one day after another maybe I can build some hope and confidence this may truly be behind me. Thanks for listening!